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  • Writer's pictureMaurice Martin

What's Love Got to Do with It?

What is love and what does it have to do with marriage relationships? We get married or we get engaged often times as we've heard it stated "Because we found love" as if some how love was lost. Or we've heard it said "Because we fell in love" as if by some freak accident we stumbled into love. It's not that these reasons for marriage or engagement doesn't sound like the right thing to say or the romantic thing to say, but let's look at these reasons a little bit closer.

Let's take the first reason. If you somehow found love because you met someone physically then you could easily lose love when you no longer have that person physically. Or it could mean that you were searching for someone to be whatever you think love is and when they met those characteristics you associated that with love. The second reason is because we, "Oops! excuse me" fell in love. You should say "I didn't mean to love you, are you ok with that?" Now hearing or reading it this way doesn't sound so right or romantic does it?

What is love? Love is in one word God. At least that's what the Bible says love is. 1 John 4:8 States that if we don't love we don't know God ... God is love. I'm not dismissing the natural meaning of love which is an expression of strong or passionate affection for another person, which means that love then as we know it is an emotion that we can control. I'm not even dismissing the so called chemistry that is shared by two people that we express as an element of our love. But I am saying in all aspect we can and do make a decision to love whoever we want to love.

Just as we have the choice to love we have the choice not to love. This is what makes relationships so hard. Because if I'm not feeling you (loving you) then I have to find love somewhere else or I have to wait for another emotional accident to happen with someone else to fall in love again. Doesn't make much sense does it? Why not be more conscious in our relationships and not just leave our happiness to our emotions. You have to determine if the person you are interviewing for your love qualifies for all the love you have to give. Then after much prayer and being true with yourself about what God reveals to you reference your interviewee, you then choose to or not enter a love relationship.

Okay I hear you. But what if I'm already married? You've already made your choice to love. You chose to love based on the information you had at the time, whether good or bad. Now you have to choose to love again for perhaps different reasons than you did even at first if those things have changed. Ask God to show you the things that you love about your spouse. Of course, if it's a physically abusive situation I can tell you that you need to make a choice to love yourself enough to remove yourself from that environment. And you have to choose to love your abuser enough to give them that space to get the help they need before things end up more tragic.

So, what does love have to do with relationships? Actually a ton, after, we decide to channel that love based on decisions derived from the knowledge of who we will love. And after a clear piece of mind resulting from our prayers and revelation. And once we've decided to love there comes a commitment to love unconditionally with the intent to love until death do us part. Weigh your love with your decisions. Decide to Love.

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